The Ridiculous Dog Mystery
by Nonnimus
Summary: A loony oneshot of what happens to Roger whilst he was packing for a holiday, courtesy of Snubby and Loony's idiocies. A Barney R fanfic


"Snubby! Call off your dog at once!" yelled Roger, as a little black spaniel pulled something out from his suitcase and ran round the room with it. Roger groaned. It seemed as if he was never going to be able to finish his packing. That dog kept pulling out everything he packed and running off with it. "Loony! Oh Loony! Stop it, I say!"

Loony was a lovely black cocker spaniel belonging to his cousin, Snubby. An awesome dog with a glorious shiny coat and long drooping ears, but otherwise completely mad. As loony as his name, Roger thought. He had a most annoying habit of tearing round and about the house, up and down the stairs, and running off with brushes and towels and mats, and hiding or burying them. And socks now, Roger groaned.

He usually didn't mind Loony, but this was getting a little out of hand. That dog was unpacking things faster than he could pack them, and had emptied the contents of his bag twice that afternoon.

"Snubby! For the thirtieth time, come and tie Loony up, will you?"

A boy with a freckled face and red hair came racing up the stairs and into the room at top speed. "What are you..."

Snubby didn't manage to finish his question, for Loony suddenly came bounding over with a volley of delighted barks, and collided with his feet, tripping him over. He struck out his hands wildly and staggered to regain his balance, knocking over Roger's case and emptying all its contents onto the floor, much to Roger's dismay.

"Ouch!" cried Snubby, as Loony jumped on him, licking him all over his face. "Get off me, you crazy dog. What do you think you're doing?" He glanced around at the tangled mess around him, and grinned sheepishly. "Oh, sorry Roger… " he began, but stopped when he caught sight of Roger's purple face. He quickly grabbed Loony by the collar.

"Now, out, Loony, out. Quick. Before Roger gives you a lemming."

For a moment, Roger felt an urge to grab Snubby by his collar and give _him_ a lemming too, but his cousin was already leaping down the stairs with Loony, whistling away merrily.

Roger sighed as he looked at the mess in his room. Blow Loony. Blow Snubby. Now he will have to start his packing all over again.

He should have done his packing the day before, before Snubby arrived at his house. He should have known that he would never get anything done the moment Snubby and Loony stepped into this house.

It was true. There had never been a moment's peace in the house whenever Snubby was at their house for holidays. Snubby alone was bad enough. He was a frightfully mischievous boy, and often got into trouble as much as he caused them, and coupled with Loony, they made things twice as mad. No, not twice, three or four times is more likely.

"Gosh, Roger, are you still packing?" a girl's voice came from the doorway, and a dark, fluffy head poked in. Her eyes widened in amazement when she saw the mess in Roger's room.

"Don't rub it in, Diana," muttered Roger, dryly. Then he gave a wry smile and gestured helplessly around. "This is what you get when you have _two_ master fatheads in this house."

Diana grinned. She guessed at once that poor Roger had fallen victim to Snubby and Loony's idiocies, and said no more. "Bad luck, Roger. Come, let me give you a hand," she said, sympathetically. She picked up a few of his belongings and placed them neatly into the suitcase again. Roger looked at her gratefully. He was sure that he would never be able to finish this on his own.

"I wonder what time would Barney be arriving," wondered Diana, aloud. She was really looking forward to see him again.

"He said he'd leave his home early this morning, so it should be anytime this afternoon," answered Roger. "That is about as long as it will take to get from Wendleman to here. He didn't say anything about us having to meet him at the station, so I expect his father would be driving him over." He saw his sister's eager face and smiled. "Yes, I'm looking forward to see Barney too. And Miranda. It's been a while since we last saw them."

"Are you both talking about Barney?" came Snubby's voice. He had just been told off by Mrs Lynton for his rowdiness, and had come into the room again, after Loony had wriggled free from his arms and shot off somewhere into the garden. Roger glared at him, still greatly annoyed. Snubby hurriedly picked up a few things and dropped them into the case messily.

"Don't!" said Diana at once. "Keep your hands off. You don't know how to pack."

Snubby scowled, and proceeded to scoop up the remaining of Roger's things with his arms, and stuffed them into the open case. "There!" he whistled triumphantly. "All done. In just two seconds. Fancy saying that I don't know how to pack."

And before he could say anything more, he found himself being hauled out of the room by an exasperated Roger. He dragged him all the way to the guest room where he slept, and shut him in. "Stay in there," he told Snubby. "I'll let you out when I'm done packing."

He turned the key on Snubby and returned to his room to continue packing. Blow! My socks! he groaned, holding up mismatched half-pairs of socks in his hands.

Loony! That dog had probably taken his socks all over the house, or even stuffed them down rabbit-holes. And to think of it, he actually had the lunacy to take only _one side_ of each pair.

Roger sighed and sank wearily onto his bed. He would probably never have a decent pair of socks to wear all this hols. All of them were mismatched!

Next time, Roger, pack your luggage before Snubby and Loony arrives. Don't wait till the last minute, or you will never get it done!


End file.
